This morning, my dad sent me new pictures of my girls. At first glance, they lit up my whole world — their smiles, their bright eyes, their growing confidence. My babies, now young ladies, standing there on the first day of school.
There was one of them together, side by side, the way sisters should be — united, strong, growing up way too fast. Then there was another, with l them by their lockers. That simple image broke me. A locker isn’t just a locker — it’s middle school, independence, a milestone I should’ve been there to celebrate with them.
I broke. The tears came so hard I was sobbing, chest tight, almost hysterical. Because while I am so grateful for these moments captured and shared with me, I’m also gutted by the reality that I’m not there and the insane extent we (me, my parents, my sisters & brother & basically everyone from their life before they went to NY) have to take to even get new pictures of them. It went from getting sent pics almost daily to this being only the 2nd time in over a year someone "snuck" and sent me puctures of my daughters.
The crazy thing is- I havent done a single thing to deserve this. I've not harassed her or them, I have not disrespected her or them, I have always been respectful because that's who I am and how I was raised by my parents.
Regardless I should have been the one taking those pictures. I should have been the one brushing their hair, checking their outfits, telling them they look perfect, and sending them off with a kiss and a prayer.
They’re in middle school now — years I’ll never get back, moments that are slipping through my fingers no matter how tightly I try to hold on. It’s not fair. It’s so damn hard.
There’s this cruel tug-of-war between gratitude and grief. Gratitude because at least I get to see them in new pictures, because it means they’re still smiling and thriving. Grief because every image is proof of what I’m missing, of the milestones I’m not present for, of memories being made without me.
No mother should have to love her children through a screen. No mother should have to ache like this just to see her daughters grow.
I don’t have the answers, but I know one thing: the love I carry for them is unshakable. And I will keep fighting through this pain, even when it feels unbearable. Because they’re my girls. They’re my heart. And no matter the distance, that bond cannot be broken.
I'm curious on how often this actually happens simply from being uneducated, unaware or not familiar with even how to navigate the legal or family court systems leaving them in the same position I am in right now.
⬇️📧📨Drop in the comments or send me a message 📨📧⬇️ Share your story-- at this point that's all we can do is share our story and hope it gets hurt by the right person who can help. ❤️❤️❤️
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