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Unbroken

UNBROKEN


I gave them all, my heart, my soul,
The love that made me feel whole.
In every step, I watched them grow,
Protecting them, through highs and lows.

I kept them safe, my greatest task,
In warmth and care, I wore no mask.
A home of peace, a place to dream,
Where love flowed free, or so it seemed.

But lies were told, and hearts betrayed,
By one who saw their light, yet swayed.
Aunt’s love for them turned bitter, cold,
And with her words, the truth was sold.

She spun her tale, so full of strife,
A story that cut deep like a knife.
But those who knew me, who saw the truth,
Would stand beside me, speak of youth.

They saw the mom who gave her all,
Through every rise, through every fall.
I never failed them, never did harm,
I kept them close, safe from alarm.

Though you're in New York, and I'm in Kentucky,
The distance grows, but my love’s still lucky.
I’ve faced my battles, yet I stand tall,
But nothing can break the love that won’t fall.

Please forgive me for the mistake I made,
For trusting her with hearts she betrayed.
For letting you visit, not knowing the cost,
Now I’m fighting, no matter what’s lost.

My daughters, my reason, my breath, my fight,
You are my dawn, my endless light.
No matter the lies that try to divide,
My love for you, will never subside.

I’ll never stop, no matter the pain,
Until you’re in my arms, safe once again.
For you are mine, and I am yours,
Our bond unbroken, forever yours.


Will I ever forgive myself?

Maybe I deserve this darkness. 
Maybe I deserve this pain, this emptiness, and everything I’m putting myself through mentally. 
I haven’t been able to get my daughters home yet, and because of that, I can’t protect them from so far away. 
The thought that they might feel like I’ve abandoned them, like I don’t care, or that I’m not fighting for them breaks me even more.

I feel like I’ve failed them in the worst way, and maybe this pain is my punishment. Maybe I deserve every bit of it for not being able to fix this, for not being able to bring them back where they belong—with me.

I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself. 
This pain, this darkness, and this emptiness have become my new normal, and honestly, I feel like I totally deserve it. 
My heart aches in ways I can’t describe, and I don’t know how to pull myself out of this. 
I just hope my daughters know I love them more than anything in this world, even if I feel like I don’t deserve them.

Lost in the fog

A phantom self, a mirrored maze,

Where shadows dance and sunlight frays.

A mind adrift, a soul in strife,

Caught in the undertow of life.

Sobriety's shore, a distant gleam,

While waves of darkness crash and scream.

Depression's grip, a heavy hand,

Dragging her spirit through the sand.

A tangled web of what once was,

Lost in the fog, a mournful fuss.

Searching for clarity, a guiding light,

To pierce the darkness, make things right.

A battle waged, within her core,

To find herself, to once explore.

With every step, a fragile gain,

Resilience growing, easing pain.

She'll rise above, with strength untold,

Her story written, yet to unfold.

A warrior's heart, a spirit's might,

Emerging from the darkest night.

Me!!

Me!!
Learning to love myself is a daily struggle but one i refuse to give up on!